Joke#31

बायोलॉजी के टीचर- सेल मतलब शरीर की कोशिकाएं...
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फिजिक्स केे टीचर- सेल मतलब बैटरी...
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इकॉनॉमिक के टिचर- सेल मतलब बिक्री....
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हिस्ट्री के टीचर- सेल मतलब जेल....
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अंग्रेजी के टीचर- सेल मतलब मोबाइल
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मैने तो भाई पढ़ाई ही छोड दी,
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जिस स्कूल में पाँच शिक्षक..
एक शब्द पर एकमत नहीं हैं।
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उस स्कूल में पढ़ कर हमें क्या मिलेगा?
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😜😜😜😜😜😝😝😜😜😜😜😜

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छुट्टी लेवे खाती आवेदन पत्र 

सेवा मे..
        श्रीमान मास्टर साहेब 
      प्राथमिक विद्यालय

महानुभाव,
              त मास्टर जी बात अइसन बा की सुबहे से बोखार चढ़ल बा आ नाक से नेटा बहता ऊ अलगे | त एही से हम स्कुल नइखी आवत राउर गोड़ पर के निवेदन करतानी की 3-4 के छुट्टी दे दिहिति त बहुत बढ़िया रहित, आ हमरा न अइला से कवन कही की राउर स्कुल बंद हो जाइ !! 

                    राउर 
                    आज्ञाकारी चेला
                    "नेटाहा कलुआ"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lol joke

एक बालक जिद पर अड़ गया...

बोला की छिपकली खाऊंगा.......

घरवालों ने बहुत समझाया पर नहीं माना !!

हार कर उसके गुरु जी को बुलाया गया।
वे जिद तुड़वाने में महारथी थे.....

गुरु के आदेश पर एक छिपकली पकड़वाई गई.

उसे प्लेट में परोस बालक के सामने रख गुरु बोले,
ले खा...

बालक मचल गया..
बोला,

तली हुई खाऊंगा..
गुरु ने छिपकली तलवाई और दहाड़े,
ले अब चुपचाप खा....

बालक फिर गुलाटी मार गया
और बोला,
आधी खाऊंगा.....

छिपकली के दो टुकड़े किये गये.. बालक गुरु से बोला,
पहले आप खाओ....

गुरु ने आंख नाक और भी ना जाने क्या क्या भींच किसी तरह आधी छिपकली निगली...

गुरु के छिपकली निगलते ही बालक दहाड़ मार कर रोने लगा की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खा गये जो मैंने खाना था..

गुरु ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले,
करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,
नौटंकी दुनिया भर की...

वो ही बालक बड़ा होकर अरविन्द केजरीवाल के नाम से मशूहर हुआ...

- courtesy whatsapp group ;)

Joke party

Meri तरफ 31 DEC. को 7 बजे से mere घर पर प्रोग्राम रखा गया हैं, आप सब फैमीली के साथ आ सकते हैं. जिसमे आपको

पोहा -कचोरी
चना मसाला   👌😋
कढाई पनीर
तन्दुरी पराठा
गोभी पराठा    😋😋
मलाई कोफ्ता
पनीर टिक्का   👌😋
कोल्ड ड्रिंक
पिज्जा. 🍪🍪
स्प्रिंग रोल
गुलाब जामुन
आईस क्रीम.....

से होने वाली
बिमारियों के बारे में
जानकारी दी जायेगी.....
          
शुक्रिया 😂😂😂

😀हँसिये , हँसाये और खुश               रहिये 😀

Indians are indians

एक मुर्गी ने भारत-पाकिस्तान
के बोर्डर पर अंडा दिया...
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दोनो दैशो के बीच इस बात को
लेकर झगङा हो गया
कि अंडा किसका है
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पाकिस्तानी कहते अंडा
हमारा है
तो भारतीय इस पर अपना हक
जता रहे थे...
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बाद मे फैसला किया गया कि
जिस भी देश के आदमी दुसरी देश
की औरतो को ज्यादा किस
(चुबंन) करेंगे
अंडा उसी का होगा...
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पहले भारतीयो की बारी आई
तो भारतीयो ने 400
पाकिस्तानी औरतो को किस
किया...
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पाकिस्तानी बोले आपने सिर्फ
400 को किया अब हमारी
बारी है...
तो एक भारतीय जवान
बोला :-
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"अबे ये पकड़ अंडा.... छोटी
छोटी बातों पे बहस नहीं करते .

Clever pandit

10 डाॅक्टर 5 इंजीनियर और
1 पंडित हैलीकौप्टर की रस्सी से लटके हुए थे

पायलट:- वज़न ज़्यादा है
1 आदमी को रस्सी छोड़नी
पड़ेगी

पंडित जी  :- ये कुर्बानी हम देंगे
क्योंकि हम ब्राह्मण है
तो बजाओ तालियां

सभी डॉक्टर और इंजीनियर
तालियां बजाने लगे वज़न खुद ही कम हो गया चाहे
डॉक्टर बनो या इंजीनियर
पंडित  आखिर पंडित होता है
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😊

Challange 4u

Ek dum latest….
Challenge!
Check karo is me kya miskate hai
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Shabaash:....
Mistake ki spelling galat hai
hahaha
Ab jaao upar. . ..😃😃😃😉😉

Joke#30

BOY : I want to be in a relationship.
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GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.
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BOY : Which one ?
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GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.
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BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.
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GIRL : Which one ?
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BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!
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GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu
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Boy: Can i Kiss u?
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Girl: Condom laye ho?
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Boy: kiss k liye condom?
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Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho
jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2016 ka Calender tangoge!! 
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

YA NAYA HAI MARKET ME
JALDI FORWARD KARO

Joke#29

Sunny Leone's mom: Beti glass ka 🍼doodh pee lo...
Sunny: No mama, mujhe nahi peena.
Maa: Beti agar doodh nahi piyogi to badi kaise hogi?
Sunny: maa aapko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi,phir bhi aap badi ho gayi, Main bhi nahi piyungi to badi ho jaungi.
Maa: Achi bachiyan zid nahi karti, Agar meri achi beti ho to doodh pee lo, warna main tum se naraaz ho jaungi.
Sunny: OK mama, aap kehti hain toh main doodh pee leti hoon..
gut....gut...gut...Aur is tarah Sunny ne doodh pee liya..
Sunny Leone ka naam sunte hi message end tak kitne gaur se padh rahe thhe !!!bas karo darindo...Soch Badlo...Toh Desh Badlega...AkelaModi kya-kya karega.....
Forward karo... zada haso maat...

Story of mom

एक 16 के लड़के ने
अपनी मम्मी से कहा की "
मम्मी मुझे मेरे 18 सालवे के
जन्मदिन पर क्या गिफ्ट
दोगी ?
.
तो उस लड़के की मम्मी ने
उस से कहा की जब
तेरा 18
सालवा आएगा तो अलमारी के
ऊपर देख लेना उसमे
तेरा गिफ्ट
रहेगा अभी बता दूंगी तो
गिफ्ट
का मज़ा नहीं आएगा। .
कुछ दिन बाद
वो लड़का बीमार
हो गया उसके
मम्मी पापा उसको अस्पताल
लेकर गए
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जाँच के बाद डॉक्टर ने
लड़के के माता पिता से
कहा की इसके दिल मै छेद
है ये अब २ महीने से
जयादा नही जी पायेगा
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2 साल भर बाद लड़का ठीक
होकर घर गया।
तो उसे पता चला की उसकी
माँ नही रही।
उसे ये पता चलते ही उसने
अलमारी खोली और उसने देखा की
अलमारी में एक गिफ्ट
पड़ा था। उसने जल्दी से
वो गिफ्ट खोला
उस गिफ्ट में एक
चिठ्ठी थी उस चिट्टी में
लिखा था की
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" मेरे जिगर के टुकड़े अगर तू
ये चिठ्ठी पढ़ रहा है
तो तू बिलकुल ठीक
होगा तुजे याद है जब तू
बीमार हुआ था तब हम तुजे
अस्पताल लेकर गए थे
डॉक्टर ने कहा की तेरे
दिल में छेद है तो उस दिन
मै बहुत रोई और
फैसला किया की मेरा दिल
तुजे दूंगी याद है एक दिन
तूने कहा था की मम्मी मुझे
18 साल वे जन्मदिन पर
क्या दोगी तो बेटा मै तुजे
अपना दिल दे रही हु
उसको हमेशा संभाल कर
रखना। …… हैप्पी बर्थडे
बेटा '
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सार : एक माँ इसलिए मर
गयी क्यों की उसका बेटा जी
सके। ....
दुनिया में माँ से बड़ा दिल
किसी का नही!
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माँ के दिल जैसा दुनिया मेँ
कोई दिल नहीँ।
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अगर ये कहानी आप को अच्छी
लगी तो जरुर शेयर करे।
आज एक मेसेज माँ के नाम...

🌺🌺🌺Beautiful line for Mom...🌺🌺🌺

🌸🌺अजीज़ भी वो है,🌺🌸
🌺🌸नसीब भी वो है,🌸🌺
🌸दुनिया की भीड़ में करीब भी वो है,🌸
🌺उनकी दुआ से चलती है जिंदगी क्योंकि ख़ुदा भी वो है, तकदीर भी वो है ।......🌺
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
🌸M=(Mom)
🌺U=(U Live)
🌸M=(Many)
🌺M=(More)
🌸Y=(Years)
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
🌺🌸माँ की लम्बी उम्र के लिए  7 लोगों को आगे भेजें। उम्मीद है आप जरुर भेजेंगे।.....,🌸🌺

JOKE SONG

Deicated to 9th class's students !!!
Dehleez pe mere exam ki,
hain rakhe jo board ne kadam.
CBSE naam pe mera result, jhand hai mere hamdam.
han seekha maine likhna likhna kaise likhna,
han seekha answer likhna mere humdam.....
na seekha no. dena dena kaise dena,
na seekha no. dena mere examinerrr...
hmmm...... hmmmm..... hmmmm..... hmmm......
sachi si hai ye gaaliyan,
dil se jo maine kahi hain,
tu jo mila to bigdi hai..
CGPA mere humdumm..
2 subject mila.....compar
t ko mere,
aadhe aadhe marks hain kam
CBSE naam pe mera result, jhand hai mere hamdam.
han seekha maine likhna likhna kaise likhna,
han seekha answer likhna mere humdam..
na seekha no. dena dena kaise dena,
na seekha no. dena mere examinerrr.
Heart

JOKE#28

Me : Mummy aaj khane me kya hai?
Mom : Rajma chawal aur desert me chocolate ice cream
Me : Haye Allah *~* aur please ye balika vadhu hatao, itna ghatiya serial aap dekh bhi kaise lete ho? "v
Mom : Fridge me kal ke karele bache pade hai, khana hai to kha Varna bhuka so ja
Heart

JOKE#27

Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saza Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne Us Se Puchha
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Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish ??
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Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi, Blackbery Bold,
Apple I- Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana
Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe,
Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi Faisla Doge Mujhe Manjoor Hoga'
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Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola:“ abe saale Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai,
Taang Do haramkhorr Ko Abhi Ke Abhi" tongue emoticon

JOKE#26

मज़ाक की भी हद होती हे भाई,,,
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में एक लड़की के साथ बैठा था,, मुस्किल से बात
बनाई
थी
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एक कमीना दोस्त पास आ कर बोला
ना भाई कल वाली ज्यादा सुंदर थी

JOKE#25

A little boy sends sms to his girl friend :
"Sweet heart, Sorry to disturb u.
Can u send me ur photo? Its really
very urgent."
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Girl: "But why baby???"
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Boy: " We are playing card's & I have lost my
QUEEN "

JOKE#24

Ladkiyo ke 7 jhut.. ??
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1. I Love u..
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2. Aapki kasam..
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3. U r my 1st love..
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4. Balance nahi hai..
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5. Awaaz nahi aa rahi..
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6. Parents sath mein hai..
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7. Mai tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi..

JOKE#23

1 Aadmi Ne Shadi Ke 20 Saal Ki Zindagi Mei Kabhi Khane Ki Tareef Nahi Ki
Ek Din Jumme Ke Khutbe Mein Molvi Saab Ne Kaha Biwi Ki Tareef Kiya Karo..
Wo Shakhs Ghar Gaya To daal Khaate Huwe Har Luqme Par Wah Wah, SUBHANALLAH Keh Raha Tha.
Biwi Kitchen Se Roti Pakane Wala 'Bailan' Lai Aur ghuma Ke Us Ke Sir Pe De Maara,
Aur Kaha:
20 Saal Mei Meri To Kabhi Tareef Nahi Ki,
Aaj Padosan Ne Daal Kya Bheji To Itni Taarifen Ho Rahi Hai...
Marva Diya Molvi Saab ne..

JOKE#22

Kafi Time Lagta Hai Ek Shareef
Bande KO Girlfrnd
Patane Me..
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Phir Agr Pat Jaye Toh..
Kisi Ka Baap Bhiiii Use Dobara
Shareef Nahi Bana
Sakta

JOKE#21

Wife : Window ka lock ni khul
rha hai…
Husbnd : aisa kro thoda oil garam kr ke us pr
daal do…
Wife : Kya us se lock khul jaega?
Husbnd : Try to kro
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After 15 mints
Husband calls wife
Tum ne try kia?
Wife : Han kia, par ab to Laptop hi off ho gaya
hai
Husbnd: Jahil Aurat
Window to batati konsi hai…
Wife : Windows 7 hai

BEST LOVE STORY

Sad Story
A girl and a guy are on a motorcycle
Girl: This is really scary, slow down!
Guy: No, I'm having too much fun!
Girl: Please stop!
Guy: First hug me
Girl: *hugs*
Guy: Tell me you love me
Girl:I love you, can you slow down now?
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me
Girl: *puts on helmet*
Next Day's Headlines:
There was an accident involving a motocycle accident. There were two people riding the motorcycle at the time of impact. The vehicle was speeding out of control and drove off road and into a building. Only one of the two people died.
What Really Happened:
Half way through the ride the guy noticed that the brakes were gone, but he didn't want to scare the girl. So he got her to hug him one last time, and to know that she loved him. He got her to wear the helmet so that if they did crash, that she would survive, although that meant that he had to die...
Must And Share
=> For More Must Like And Share Our page

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

ON completion of our 20 jokes i am giving you more 20 jokes to read. Be happy keep smiling

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!

JOKE#19

A man goes to see the doctor.
"Doctor everything hurts when I touch it"
"hm, let me see. Touch your arm, does that hurt?"
"yes doctor"
"Now when you touch your knee, does that hurt as well?"
"Ouch, yes that hurts too"
"Now if you touch your chest, how's that?"
"It hurts just as much doctor."
"Just as I thought: your finger's broken."

JOKE#18

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod

JOKE#17

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"Bobby," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Kumar, Sharma, Gupta, Verma, Singh..... that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Kashyap. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is Bobby Darling."
"Okay Bobby, the next thing I want to tell you is....

JOKE#16

Ek Baar Master Ji Apni Class Ke Bachchon Se Puchne Lage: Bachchon Jis Tarah T20 Cricket Aane Se Cricket Dekhne Ka Maza Badh Gaya Hai Usi Tarah Tum Bhi Kuch Aisa Suggest Karo Ki Tumhaare Exams Bhi Bade Interesting Aur Mazedaar Ho Jayein Aur Sab Bachche Exams Se Darein Na.
Jab Koi Nahin Bola Toh Pappu Is Sawaal Ka JAwab Dene K Liye Khada Ho gaya.
Master Ji Uske Khurafati Dimaag Se Parichit The, Vo Jaanta The Ki Ulta-Seedha Bolega, Na Chahte Hue Bhi Bole: Jaldi Se Bata.
Pappu Gambhir Hokar Bola: Master Ji, Hamara Paper 1 Ghanta Aur 20 Minute Ka Hona Chahiye.
Har 20 Minute Ke Baad Students Ko Aapas Mein Baat Karne Ke Liye 2 Minute Ka 'Time Off' Milna Chahiye.
Bachchon Ko Ek Free Hit Milni Chahiye, Jismein Bachche Kisi Bhi Ek Question Ka Answer Apni Marzi Se Kuch Bhi Likh Sakte Hon.
Pehle 20 Minute Mein 'Power Play' Hona Chahiye Jismein Duty Waale Sir Examination Room Se Bahar Hon.
Aur Most Important.... Har Sahi Answer Likhne Pe 'Cheer Girls' Room Mein Aa Ke Dance Karein...

JOKE#15

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.
Little Sally led off.
"I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."
"Very good", said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next.
"I sold magazines" she said, "I made $45 , and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."
"Very good, Debbie", said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.
"$2,467," he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, 'Hey, this tastes like dogpoop!' I would say, 'It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?'

JOKE#14

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS - Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE - Male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES - Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE - Female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE - Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER - Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS - Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5000 years but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - Female... Ha...! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

JOKE#13

Boy jab fail ho jaye toh...
mom 3 words kehti hai: " AUR JAA GHUMNE "
.
.
.
Gf bhi 3 words kehti hai:"SHARM NAHI AATI "
.
.
.
Aur dost bhi 3 words hi kehte hain but dil jeet lete hain
.
.
.
" Abe Tu Bhi"

JOKE#12

Man: I lost my wife.
Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim, can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of the eyes?
Man: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair?
Man: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit. I don't remember exactly.
Inspector: Was somebody with her???
Man: Yes, my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, brown eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg. food, we eat together, we jog together... And the man started crying....
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!

JOKE#11

Samosa Said to Aloo:" Jab main fry hota hun to
Tumhe cover Kar k Garam Oil se Bacha leta Hu
bcoz I Luv u..
.
.
.
.
.
Aloo said:" Jab log Tumhe Fry hone k foran
baad Khate hai to main unka muh jala deti hun
bcoz I Love u too
.
.
.
.
Inki luv story pe na jaiye,
Samosa thanda hi khaiye

JOKE#10

Once a boy was smoking at d airport..
Girl asked: 1 din me kitne cigrette peete
ho tum?
Boy: 40-50
Girl: Agar ab tak zindgi me cigrete pe
kharch kiye hue paise bachate to
samne khari hui BMW car tumhari hoti.
Boy: Aap cigrete peeti hein?
Girl: Nahi
Boy: To kya wo car apki hai?
Girl: Nahi
Boy: Thanks for advice, wo car meri hi
hai.
MORAL: Zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi
ho jaati hai..

JOKE#9

"Ladki apne room me bethizor zor se ro rahi
thi
.
.
.
Maa ne dekha to uske paas aayi
Or boli-
Kya hua beti?
Mujhe bata
Me teri dost hu
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki boli-
Kya batauyaar
Apne wale se milne gayi
Thi
Tere wale ne dekh liya
to muje bahut maara

JOKE#7

Question :-What is love and explain in details ? ( 20
marks)
Answer:
USA's Student.......
Answer: Love is life.
(marks : 5 out of 20 )
UK's Student......
Answer : Love is pain.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
UAE's Student......
Answer : Love Khuda hai.
( marks : 5 out of 20 )
Indian Student........
Answer :
.
.
.
.
.
- Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due to relationship
between men & women that can cause death of 1 or
both depending on the resistance associated
- TYPES:
1 sided & 2 sided
- AGE:
Usually occurs in teenages but nowdays can be found
in any age
- SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
- DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
- TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or
Mother's Sandal......
(marks 20 out of 20 )
Excellent !!
______________________
NOTE :-
Don't ask Indian students ,
They can stretch any thing for 20 marks !!!
Indian Rockzz!!

JOKE#7

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got
here.
_______________
_______________ ______
TEACHER: John, why are you doing
your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without
using tables.
_______________ _______________
____________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell
'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A -L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you
asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
_______________ _______________
______________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the
chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking
about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H
to O.

JOKE#6

Mouse Ki Gang Talwar Lekar Bhaag
Rahi Thi...
.
.
.
.
Lion Ne Pucha: Kya Hua, Tum Log
Itne Gusse Me Kyu Bhaag Rahe Ho.?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mouse: Elephant Ki Beti Ko Kisi Ne
Propose Kiya Hai,
.
Naam Hamara Aa Raha Hai..
.
.
.
.
"Laashe Bicha Denge Laashe"

JOKE#5

boy: why did Tom carry a skipping rope to an exam?
girl: he worked to skip.some sums
son: why did the dog jump into the fire?
father: it had caught a cold
son: no dad it wanted to be a hotdog
jack: why did the boy sleep in the cow ranch?
jill: he wanted to feel.the environment
jack: no it wanted to be cowboy
a man was in a bud going to Harare. This was his first time on a journey to Harare.
man: (touching the driver's shoulder) is this Harare
driver: no this is my shoulder

JOKE#4

"Ladki apne room me bethizor zor se ro rahi
thi
.
.
.
Maa ne dekha to uske paas aayi
Or boli-
Kya hua beti?
Mujhe bata
Me teri dost hu
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki boli-
Kya batauyaar
Apne wale se milne gayi
Thi
Tere wale ne dekh liya
to muje bahut maara

JOKE#3

FIRE ko AAG kehte he
.
.
.
.
COBRA ko NAAG kahte he
.
.
.
.
GARDEN ko BAAG kahte hai
.
.
.
.
Aur.
.
.
.
.
.
"EXAMS" k samay jo kaam na kare
Use
DIMAG kahte Hai!...

JOKE#2

Solid Beijjati:
.
.
Ek Doctor ne naya clinic khola..
.
.
Thodi daer bad ek Aadmi aaya.
.
.
Doctor ne apne aap ko busy show
karne k liye,
telephone ka receiver uthaya aur,
appointment dene k andaz mein
bolne laga..
.
.
Fir phone rakne k baad...
Doctor Aadmi se: Haan bataiye kya
hua?
.
.
.
Aadmi: Bsnl se aaya hun,
telephone activate karne k liye
LO AUR KARLO SHOW OFF...

Joke#1

An insect falls into a mug of beer..
.
.
Englishman : Throws his mug away and
walks out.
.
American : Takes the insect out and
drinks the beer.
.
.
Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the
beer away.
.
.
.
Indian : Sells the beer to the American
and insect to the Chinese and gets a
new mug of beer.